I have tried the planners, the apps and the colour-coded calendars. They last about three weeks. What has actually lasted are a few small rituals, so ordinary I almost didn't notice they were holding everything together.

Sunday evening: the reset

Every Sunday after supper I clear the table completely and lay out the week. Not in detail — just the three things that must happen and one thing I want to happen. I change the bedsheets, water the plants on the balcony, and lay out Monday's clothes. It takes forty minutes and it means Monday morning starts already halfway won.

Wednesday: the market walk

Midweek I walk to the market instead of ordering groceries. I buy tomatoes from the same mama every time; she knows I like them firm and she tells me which ones to cook tonight and which will keep. It is the only time in the week I talk to a stranger with no agenda. I always come back lighter than I left.

Friday: one phone call

Every Friday I call one person I have not spoken to in a while. An aunt in Mombasa, a friend from university, my old Kiswahili teacher. No reason, no favour to ask. Most of my friendships that survived adulthood survived because of calls like these.

A ritual is just a habit you've decided to pay attention to.

Every day: the last page

Before sleep I read something on paper, even if it is only two pages. It is a signal to my body that the day is closed. The phone charges in the sitting room, not by the bed.

Why small works

Big changes need willpower, and willpower runs out by Thursday. Small rituals don't ask for much. They are easy to come back to after a bad week, and there are always bad weeks.

What are yours? I would love to hear the small things that keep you steady — leave them in the comments.